Friday, February 27, 2009

So.. I am kind of over this semester so far. I'm also doing pretty shitty. In addition, I am chain smoking like a motherfucker for no apparent reason. TAKE THAT SURGEON GENERAL! The problem with devoting all of your time to 2 classes and ignoring the other ones is that all of a sudden, an exam pops up out of NOWHERE - even if you haven't read the six chapters it's on. Plus, I really don't think I'm good enough to bullshit my way through the exam. We'll see how it goes.
On lighter note.... I got into Phi Theta Kappa - which I'm sure they'll kick me out of once they see how poorly I did on a Gerontology exam. & I am applying to the "American Indian Journalism Institute" even though I only have a LITTLE Indian in me.. and doesn't everyone? If I get accepted, I'll go to South Dakota for three weeks and compete for a six week internship and be gone the entire summer.
What this means is... I can brag about being a good student without ACTUALLY being one.
I'm glad no one reads my blog because it is complete nonsense.
I am supposed to be cleaning right now because my room looks like this:

I don't understand how my room gets so messy.
So I guess I should probably start doing that............. fuck.

Monday, February 16, 2009

I don’t know who I am.
I am a student.
I am a sister.
I am a victim.
I am a fighter.
I am a statistic.
I am eccentric.
I am invisible.
I am a disappointment.
I am a dreamer and a nonbeliever.
I am a realist.
I am an optimist.
I am suffering.
I am determined.
I am a quitter.
I am trying.
I am overwhelmed.
I am sorry.
I am..
No one you haven’t met before.
What do I have to say?
Nothing that hasn’t been heard.
How do I know?
I’ve been told.
I’ve been told to
Forget
Settle
Let go
Try harder
And to pretend.
I’ve been told I am
Strong but
Weak.
I have been called worse things.
I am afraid of dying.
I am desperate for approval.
I am angry.
I am sad all of the time.
I am ignored.
I am condescending.
I am a fa├žade.
I am a rumor.
I am all of these things.
I am who they tell me to be.