Tuesday, March 10, 2009

So. I am going to NYC this weekend and it's either going to be really fun or a disaster. Either way, I am pretty excited about it (even if I'm not exactly organized for it). The upside: I get to see the St. Patrick's Day parade and possibly In the Heights (if I can convince the newspaper staff that it will be better than Chicago).

I'm interviewing the Maryland Comptroller tomorrow for a story. I have absolutely no idea what to ask him because I know a total of two things about him: He's the "executive financial officer" and he hates slots. We'll see how it goes down. I'm going to dress up either way.. maybe even wear my PTK pin.. when else would I possibly wear it? Perhaps to a keg party.

On other note.... I'm kind of curious about what qualifies as criminal harrassment because I'm about to start sueing the f out of an ex-boyfriend - which, out of fear for my FREAKING LIFE, I won't name. Jesse.

I just don't think I should have to block every possible number and threaten to have him arrested for him to let it go. I mean really just let it go. Or... go back on the Lexapro. Either one.

I have, however, mastered making to-do list's and by that I mean actually completing them. Which is probably why I have time to update this. I still haven't mastered keeping my room clean - aka, tilting at windmills a bit.

Oh and by the way.. I definitely failed that gerontology exam... a 58% to be exact.. making it the lowest grade I've ever recieved in college. YESSSSSS!!!! I can't drop the class though.. I already dropped Spanish even though I said I wasn't dropping any classes this semester. The professor just REALLY got on my nerves with his stupid games that only the students who had him before knew how to play because he never bothered to explain it to the rest of us. I'm sorry but I really don't want to play freaking games at 9 a.m. So now, I'll only be able to have 2.55 seconds of a conversation in Spanish. Way to fuck up my life.

I think the problem here is that I still have no idea what I'm majoring in or what college I am transferring to so I really have no idea what classes I actually need. Common sense would tell me to go to adviser and have a dialogue with him about it. BUT, when I did, he just went on Artsys and sent me on my way. I CAN GO ON ARTSYS MYSELF - why do you get paid to go on a public website?

Oh and I got denied for financial aid. Really? How do you figure my family makes too much money? Because last time I checked, we live in a trailor park in the middle of bumfuck and I have to CRIMINALLY HARRASS my father for money he "wipes his ass with," according to him. I guess now is probably the time to get a job.....? Naaah - OBAMA WILL FIX IT! Or... probably not.

I'm also back to not being able to sleep. I would rather have my face covered in oozing pimples than not be able to sleep. Like, being kind of a sleep but not actually sleeping and apparently, having conversations with God with him telling me to "beware of A<3D." Which really freaked me out at the time because I was like no fucking way.. is God here.. like right now? But, I figure I was just really tired from not being able to sleep. Or, I'm crazy and probably shouldn't tell people about the halucinations I have in the middle of the night.

I really, really, want a laptop. I don't know why.. probably because my family is too fucking poor to get me one even though I don't qualify for financial aid. I mean seriously.. how am I going to pay for my tuition? I already have $5,000 in student loans and I'm not at a 4-year yet.. plus, I'm probably going to end up working at Barnes and Noble after college..

It's just scary.. not knowing what I want to do. I can either be a teacher, a writer, or a journalist and from what I understand, none of those options make much money. Of course that is alright with me because I want to do something I love but I would rather not live HERE the rest of my life.

Someone told me they didn't want to live in Maryland for the rest of their life... I think it was Kerri.. which is surprising to me because I thought she always wanted to stay here. I've always been the one who wanted to leave. I don't know now.

Despite all of my ranting, I've actually had a really good couple of days. My weekend was pretty amazing.. not because anything abnormal happened.. but just because it was ridiculously nice out. Whenever it is not really cold but not really hot, I get extremely happy... like Marry-Freaking-Poppins-Happy. Seriously. Someone could slash my tires, punch me in my ovaries, chop a section of my hair off, leave a really fucked up message on my MySpace calling me a fat pathetic whore and then call my phone screaming 1375890347589 times..... and I would still be happy. Which is pretty much how my weekend went.. minus the tire slashing, punching and chopping of the hair. But the rest of it... that actually happened. True story.

I'm also in a pretty good mood because I'm getting shit done and I don't have that OMG! OMG! OMG! I AM SOOO FUCKED! feeling. I think I am gaining a lot of confidence back and finally starting to feel like ME again. Not the me that I had to be for an entire year but the me that is just.. alright with the way things are.. however cliche that might sound.

My birthday is coming up; everyone alway says "eh, turning 20 is not that big of a deal." But it is, kind of. I'm not going to be a teenager anymore which is kind of a bad thing and kind of an amazing thing. I don't know, to me, turning 20 is kind of an achievement. I have changed so much since I turned 18 and my birthday kind of shows that. Essentially, what I am trying to say is that I am proud of what I've accomplished in two years. Sweeeet.

Los padres are going away on March 21..... early "I'm all grown up" birthday celebration? I think so.

Alright. That's all I got.

Your all-time favorite pirate hooker.

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